I haven't been around for a couple weeks because... no computer!  Army just unpacked the computer today... so I'll be around.

This nausea shit really sucks!  I don't remember ever being nauseated with Verabelle or Avani , now I kinda get the idea of this whole morning sickness thing.  But, I don't want to say I have it bad, because I haven't thrown-up yet... but to have the feeling like you're going to throw-up all the freakin time, is no fun either.  It's so bad for me in the morning between 7-11am.  I'm so nauseated, so tired, so hungry and I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE AT WORK! AHHH!  I loathe it so much.  I wish I could just be a stay-at-home-mom.    Or at least just work part-time during my pregnancy.  I do eat snacks and drink a lot in the morning but I think I need to eat a big breakfast to help me make it to lunch w/o feeling like I'm gonna DIE.  It can be hard for me to focus at work.  And I don't even do my hair anymore for work, I just twist, bobby pin, and tie it back.  I think I probably look pale, sick and tired during the day, my eyes are lazy.. I don't feel like smiling or socializing much... sometimes even talking can be just too much..  I JUST WANT TO GO TO SLEEP!  Right now as I'm blogging this, I'm tired... I have a headache, my mouth has a sour taste that never goes away.. I wanna throw-up, my eyes feels heavy & tired... tired, tired, tired.. that's the magic word.  The girls are watching TV right now, and Avani is getting fussy.  Army & his parents are at work.  I hate how tired and nauseated this pregnancy is making me feel!  I get cravings, lotsa cravings all the time.  I want to cook certain things but I don't have the ingredients on hand, and sometimes I'm just too... tired!... to head out and buy things.  Alright, that's it.. too tired.. I'm gonna force Avani to take a nap with me, she needs to take one anyway.  And wassup with the cockles picture?  They fulfilled my cravings earlier so I wanted to put them in the spotlight.  lol  *sigh*  Yknow we have to move out by this weekend... crazy.  Mama too tired for this moving shit.

EDIT //  Reading this & this makes me feel slightly better and not... different/alone/weird.  Although I'm not use to feeling so useless and unproductive.

I finally booked a camping site!  OMG the hassle I had to go through!  Most places were completely reserved, if I had known I would have tried at least 2 weeks in advance.  I'm so excited to plan this whole Anniversary getaway w/o Army's help or insight, usually he does all the planning or we plan things together.  But I wanted to be a big girl and surprise him.    He's been asking me everyday what I have planned but I've been *zip zip zipped!*  BUT, now that I've booked everything I feel almost too excited to keep it all to myself, hence the blog, lol... also I booked a scenic train ride that serves a 5 course gourmet dinner.  I can't wait!

At first, I was really bummed when I found out that the Lafayette Campgrounds at Franconia State Park were fully reserved.  And then I had a hard time finding other campgrounds in the area that was available for 2 nights (Friday & Saturday only).  But thanks to Lindsey, she helped me with other places.  I ended up booking a spot right in Franconia.  So everything worked out just fine. There's so many places I'd like to bring Army.  I found some pictures...

Flume Gorge

The Basin

Cannon Mountain Aerial Tramway

And just everything that Franconia Notch and nature has to offer.  I'd love to go fishing, hiking, do some Photography, and possibly kayaking... and I hope we catch a fish and cook it on the campfire.. hehe!  I can't believe it'll be 9 years on the 21st!  Army makes me feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the whole wide world!

Watched it last night with Army.  I REALLY, REALLY liked that movie!... I dunno if I loved it, but I really, really, liked it.   I'll give it an A-.  Army really liked  it too.

It was a HUGE tear-jearker for me, especially the last half of the movie.  I loved Rachel McAdams since The Notebook, which is still one of my favorite romance movies... probably second to Chances Are. 

Well, Happy Saturday!  I'm going to spend the day indoors doing productive stuff and playing with the girls.  No set plans for tonight yet, but I think probably walk Cooper around downtown Portsmouth with the baby butt.

When Army came for lunch today he said to me, "Don't worry chubby cheeks, know that baby butt is always here for you.  I understand that you get tired.  I love you so so much."  It put a smile on my face and made me think, "Did baby butt read my Xanga?!.. nahhh."

So today was the big cook-out.  It was a farewell bash for our Director.  It was nice to talk to people that I hardly ever see or talk to anymore... Audrey, Denise, Nikki, Robbie, Cora..  I had a good time, I didn't even get to finish my food!  I could have stayed til 5pm but it was too hot and I had other plans.. such as good ol' GROCERY SHOPPING!  whoo hoo.  I forgot to buy rice so imah head back out in 15 mins to get some.  I love drivin my beemer with my 19" M6 rimssss...

Yknow what's a satisfying and easy meal I just learned?!  Stir-frying shaved steak!  You gotta try it.  High heat, chop up a few cloves of garlic, brown em' in whatever oil, put in the beef, shake in a lot of SAN-J Japanese Steak Sauce, salt & pepper, cook the beef only til it's not red anymore.  The whole thing will take you less than 10 minutes! Serve with white rice and some veggies on the side.  To spice it up, you can add a couple of chopped Thai chillies in with the garlic.  MmMMm mommy's hungry now.

So tonight, District 9 or The Time Traveler's Wife?

I'm worried that now that I'm pregnant I may be too tired to give Army the attention/affection/quality time that he wants.  I'd prefer to go to sleep at 9pm or 10pm now.  But most of the time I'll sleep around 11pm-1am, because when Army works "closing" he gets home at around 9:15pm and that'll be the 1st time we see each other all day.  And I know he wants to relax & talk with me (not just yknow what lol).  But 1/2 of the time I'm pretty drained.. and I can be rather cranky when I'm tired.    It's not like how it was before... I can't stay up & wide awake past midnight anymore.  I gotta wake up at 6am and go to work and come home and take care of the kids and household.  I only sleep 5 hours on average, every.. single.. day.  And I'm pretty sure my body & mind needs 7-8 to be a happy camper.

I'm just scared that he's gonna lose some of that lovin' feelin for me.  I'm worried that he might not understand how truly exhausted I am.  How I would love to stay up and spend time with him but I don't want him to have to deal with my moodiness at night because I wanna go to sleep.  It's only like this on the weekdays.. and not everyday!  Probably 2-3x a week but it still makes me feel bummed out. 

When he came home from work today, he asked me if I was gonna go to sleep early again tonight.  I beleive I went to sleep at 10 last night.  I wouldn't say that was that early!  At least I made dinner for him before I went to bed.  Argg.  It would help me A LOT if he would learn to cook something himself!  I was slightly irritated when he asked me if I was gonna go to sleep early again.. it was just the way he said it.  THEN he said why don't I go take a nap with Avani so I won't be tired tonight.  In my mind I was thinking "Arggg." but I didn't make a fuss over it.  I just said Avani doesn't want to take a nap.  At 5 he went to play tennis with his co-workers... it's nice that he goes out w/o me, sometimes I feel like he doesn't want to do anything w/o me.

I don't think Army would cheat on me, but I'm worried that his mind would wonder.. far, far away.  I'm worried that he might crave that attention and affection he's not getting from me and fantasize about it with someone else.  I don't want my baby butt to do that.    Please understand chubby cheeks is just tired.  But chubby cheeks will put more effort into finding quality time for baby butt. 

And I need to find some healthy energy sources?!  Anyone have recs?!  Remember I'm prego!

Ever since I got like 10+ inches chopped off last month I've been really bummed about my hair.    Short hair is  just not me, I feel weird... I just don't like it at all!    It's actually a lot more high-maintenace than my longer hair.  Plus I have heavy bangs (they're such a nuisance) and now my hair is dark.. really dark almost black.  I just hate it!  Please grow faster!  I just saw this picture on Xanga's main page from datingish.. of Adriana Lima... and THAT'S the hair that I want.  Long, sexy, brownish/highlighted... romantic locks.  I don't do trendy hair cuts/style... just long & romantic.. either with a lot of volume and bounce or straight and sleek.  But not this short mess! AHHH I HATE IT!  + I was nauseated all day.

And mommy took pics. 

  If u didn't know, I'm back.    Hi. Hi.

I've been meaning to start up blogging again but I was preoccupied and just not as motivated, also I had wanted to create my own domain (which I did), www.lovevuthear.com.  That site ran on WordPress, and after a few days I found that I couldn't stand the controls and other annoyances, so I never really got that site going.  I'm going to be canceling my hosting (sorry godaddy!)  And I'll just pay for Xanga instead.  This is my <3 HOME <3.  But man, Xanga needs to GET WIT IT and create a nice selection of pro quality themes/layouts for it's users.  Vox is way better style-wise.  I did make this simple layout just to replace my old Winter theme.  I have no time for web/graphic design anymore.  But of course, if you show me the $, I show you the time.  *cough*  Xanga *cough*  But yea, I made this layout without using html, thanks to the Xanga Theme creator thing which has a lot of potential to be better.  I wonder if I was a Software Engineer, I could create stuff like that.. hrmm.

Okay, so here's an update on my life:

Yknow, I started Xanga when I was 18, Engaged and with a 6 month old baby.  Now I'm 25, Married, mother of two girls 7 & 3... and I'm expecting!  Baby #3.  EEEEEE!  #3 was not planned, but I'm really happy & excited.  Baby daddy is too.. so I am currently stress-free! lol... WOW.  I wonder how long that will last.  Broke as ever too.  But I'm not too worried.. right now my credit card debt is about $6,000 (around this time last year it was like $10,000, so we're making progress!) and when we get our tax return next year, I plan on cutting that debt in half.  And we're *hopefully* moving to a much cheaper place next month.

I now work full-time also.  I've been working full-time for a little over a year and a 1/2 now.  And my free time has never been the same since.  I wake up at 6, get home at 3:45.  My MIL leaves for her 10hr shift at 4.  The first hour at home usually involves eating and taking care of the kids/dog.  If there's nothing to eat then add another 1/2 hr or so for cooking.  Then  I check my email/msges/ebay, and respond back to stuff.  If I'm not going out, the girls need to take a bath or take a nap. 

Okay I gotta get ready to go somewhere..

... to be continued.

Edit//  Alright now where was I?... yes, update on my lifey.  Let's make it quick shall we, lol.

• I now only have one dog, my boy Cooper.  We had to give Lharry away due to his hyperness.  And his jumping up on Avani.  And Cooper had jealousy issues.
• I started online/distance college in June for my AA in Software Engineering.  And I'm loving it so far!
• I still work at the same place for the government but I moved to a new department.  Before I worked in the Telephone Inquiry unit which was just answering the phone - helping and arguing with ppl/attorneys about their cases.  I worked really hard in that unit and I appreciate the fact that my boss notices so she asked me if I could go help the Written Correspondence unit with their backlog.  I agreed and I think they're gonna have me stay here forever!  All my friends are in the other unit, so it kinda sucks.  Especially since my bff, Craigzilla, quitted a couple weeks ago.  But here I have my own bigger cubicle. yay. lol  The stress level is lower because I don't have to deal with argumentive ppl on the phone.  What I do here is just respond to emails all.. day.. long.  It's still very tiring because they have a quota that involves me having to work really fast.  I can listen to my headphones all day if I wanted too but sometimes I choose not to cuz I find myself lipsyncing to Lil Wayne and not being quite as productive. lol  And guess what?! I got a .22 raise on Friday.  wow.  So it comes out to like $16.25/hr (I made more when I worked 2nd shift).  I chose not to get their expensive health benefits too.  I have insurance through Army's employer.
• Verabelle is starting 2nd grade in September!  She's an excellent reader now.  She's good at Math, drawing.  And she loves to sing & dance!  Just like mommy!  hehe  But I suck at Math..
• Avani, wise beyond her years.  She knows so much, she amazes me.  She just turned 3 and she can count to like 100 and she knows her ABCs, colors, shapes, animals..  She loves to sing and dance.  She even tries to break dance.  A lot of it is thanx to big sister.
• Army & I, we're doing fantastic!  Although it wasn't like that until a couple months ago.  So pretty recent actually.  We had jealousy and insecurity issues.  A lot of "silent treatments".  But we're doing much better now.  I guess it's because we love each other so much and we just don't wanna get hurt/betrayed.  Army is still amazing.  He's the most romantic, dedicated & caring person.  I always said that I thought I was a complete hopeless romantic, because I live for love & romance and all the lil lovey-dovey stuff that comes with it, my head is always in the clouds.  And I still can't believe I found someone who adores me and looks at me like he hasn't seen me in a 100 years.  How he gives me a big hug & kiss everytime he sees me.  He makes me feel special, every single day.  And I love how he comes to have lunch with me 2-3x a week during the workdays.  He doesn't have to, I tell him all the time.  But the fact that he wants to is sweet.  And I told him now that we're going to be living 30 mins + from my workplace I don't want him to have to drive down here.  But he was like, "Aww.. how about 2x a week?"  I was like NO WAY.  And he's like "FINE, 2x a month then!"  And I said, "maybe."  I  my precious baby butt.  I must admit though I still have a lot of insecurities... probably due to the fact that he has such an outgoing personality that I know a lot of girls are attracted to that.  I need to work on it, it really has nothing to do with him.  *Warning*  Sexual content ahead.  PLUS and a BIG PLUS!  He's a sexaholic, I swear the horniest guy ever.  And that makes me jealous and insecure.  Although, I try very hard to NEVER show that to Army.  I know he's a guy and guys love sex & porn.  Luckily, I love it too.   I think Army watches porn everyday.. maybe even a few times a day.  And I'm pretty sure he gets off w/o me.  Which I don't mind, as long as he still wants me.  He's always.. ALWAYS up for sex, I dunno how he does it.  And I'm usually up for it as long as I'm not wicked tired.  But when I am tired sometimes I accuse Army of being shallow and being nice just to get some.  That's me being mean and cranky. lol  But 1/2 of the time I do give in, so I can't blame Army for trying.  We do it pretty much everyday, sometimes a few times a day.  But a lot of times, the girls are awake... ahh it's so funny telling the kids that mommy and daddy is "cleaning".  I think our sex life is still off the chains.. even after almost 9 years, I don't think there's ever been a dull moment.  I can't wait to try out some role playing with costumes, we've never done that before.  Last night we left the kids with grandma and snuck out to our fav spot.    Yknow what, I feel like sending him a naughty picture to his Blackberry right now, not of myself though.. lol.  I love teasing him while he's at work.
• Our lease is up in 3 more weeks!  We've found a place up in Wells, just need to do the paperwork and it should be ours.  We'll still be living with the in-laws.  It's a beautiful 4 bedroom 2 1/2 bath house w/ 2,700 sq ft.. 5 min walk to the beach.  The rent is only $1,050/month... which is much cheaper than the 5 bedroom 3 bath townhouse that we've been living in for the last couple years for $1,750.  The big cons though of that new place is it doesn't have a garage which will REALLY suck during the winter time... can you imagine me cleaning off snow at 6am with my big ol' prego belly?!  I think not.  So Imah wake up Army to do that. ... I will try my best to do it myself... but I think shoveling will be hazardous during my pregnancy.  PLUS my commute to work will be more than double!  So that sucks too.. it usually takes me about 10-12 mins to get to work.. now it'll be close to 35.. maybe even more.
• Tin, Aluminum, Diamond?!  I dunno, but we're having a Wedding!  Army knows that I've always wanted my fairy tale wedding (we got married at City Hall)... so he told me that he wants me to plan a beautiful wedding for out 10 Year Wedding Anniversary in 2017.  It seems a long ways away but I know before you know it, it's gonna be here.. and I know I better start saving now for the dress and new rings.  Cuz mommy wants a big ass diamond.

Speaking about weddings.  I need to get ready to go to a wedding now!  Ta-ta Xangans! 
Have a good weekend!  <33